The Benefits of Self Pleasure

I dislike the term masturbation, which comes from the Greek root word to self pollute. I prefer self pleasuring. Only through self pleasuring can we discover what our bodies are capable of and what really pleases — or pleasures — us. Without that knowledge, we can never let our partners know what we want or what we need to be pleasured by them.

Historically, the United States Patent Office has had over 900 applications for anti-masturbation devices for men. One of those devices even included sandpaper gloves which were meant to prevent nocturnal emissions in young men. Conversely, with the exception of chastity belts, there are few devices to prevent female masturbation the thought being, of course, is that women neither masturbate nor enjoy sex. YES, THEY DO!

The only things preventing women from enjoying a pleasurable sexual relationship are lack of knowledge of their own bodies, partners who are poorly educated in female pleasure or who simply refuse to give up control, and/or an unwillingness or inability to communicate what they want or need from partners. With self pleasuring, women can acknowledge all orgasms before climax and bring that knowledge to their lovemaking with their partners.

The dichotomy is that we are told not to touch down there. As old myths fall we now know that self pleasuring is healthy and constructive. It enhances pleasure when intimate with a partner and adds to mutual pleasuring. YES, its ok to reach down there and assist a partner in pleasuring you.

Some experience their first, and often multi, orgasms with the aid of a vibrator. Pleasure devices have been around since ancient times such as Ben Wa balls, which are now replaced with cordless vibrators. The use of a vibrator to explore ones body for pleasure is recommended, however, it is never a replacement for lovemaking. One person said they didnt want a vibrator because its not warm and it doesnt hug me. The key point is the more you know about your body, the more pleasure is available to you, and your partner as well.

For men, self pleasuring allows for extended erections and delay of orgasms. Often vibrators extend lovemaking and avoid premature ejaculation. Simply by stroking without allowing ejaculation, men can learn to last longer and longer in their lovemaking.

Although couples can pleasure themselves in front of each other as foreplay or as a learning experience, self pleasuring is different. It is the only time you get to make love to someone you really love — no one can pleasure you like you! Even as you tell your partner how to pleasure you, and he or she pleasures you, it is different. Not better, just different.

Have fun, explore, be pleasured!

Author’s Bio:

Nationally renowned author, teacher, lecturer and inventor Dr. Stuart Bloch, DD, PhD, ChT is one of the nation’s leading experts on sex and sexual relationships. He is the founder of The Institute for Sexual Awareness (, a research and educational trust whose purpose is to educate people to have more pleasure and satisfaction in relationships. This article is based on Dr. Bloch’s new book, ‘Conversations with the World’s Greatest Lover’ found on

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